4 days left
There are four days left till I leave Geneva… Im not sad, im not happy, im not relieved or anxious… I honestly feel nothing. Nothing. I have also decided to stop asking if whether what Im feeling is normal or not….. I dont give a rats ass if it is normal.. because if it is the way i feel then thats how it is.. I cant change that…..I used to ask if it was normal to find some sort of way to analyze my feelings … give some comparison … now i realizes its pointless because im going to feel that way regardless….
so yeahh Geneva…. what do I think of you …. welll I think that stores shouldn’t close so early … everything closes here at 7 and when you get out of work at 6 everyday that gives you very little time to do anything …. I also wish i spoke the language …. towards the end it really started to bother me not speaking the language … yes i took a month of french .. but honestly I think i need 10 years… I am so linguistically challenged its unbelievable …. I still have problems pronouncing words in English … (i think it is a mental block or handicap with phonetics)…. I also now realize that three and a half months in a city/country is not a very long time at all …. Yes i feel comfortable here ….and I accomplished quite a lot of different things … but three and a half months is no time at all … like my boss said … you could spend an entire two weeks (half a month) just contemplating the issues of one topic …3 and a half months is not that much time….
I want to say that I miss somethings … but I dont … not really … I wish jon were here with me … but that and the language issue is about all I would change right now …. oh yes and my financial situation …. if I had the money I could live abroad and just fly home every two months or so and visit my family … I could see them for a few days .. (cause lets face it … a few days is all i really can handle with my family before they have me pulling out my hair)… and then I could fly back …. that would be the ideal situation ….
I thought most people go through this like whole emotional roller coaster leaving they study abroad program and going back to life in America … everyone calls it such a bittersweet time in their lives …. really strikes emotion into people talking about it and what not …. but i guess im just used to leaving people behind? … idk … but i honestly don’t think I feel anything about leaving so soon … im just like ok? so i guess i should pack right?
hahahaha ohhhh life <3
